so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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