If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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