Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
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I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
its liver damage thursday
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