You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
