If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
