yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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