i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
