At least make sure they are 18
Why
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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