I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
