I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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