don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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