remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
