I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
