Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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