At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
bring money and cleavage
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
