we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
