??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
