Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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