I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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