dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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