Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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