So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
