at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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