Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize