I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had to cum in my sink.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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