Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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