try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
