he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
