Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
