take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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