i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
