please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have tasted many bathrooms
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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