I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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