She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
