The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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