he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
