i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
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Are my feet made of real feet?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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