I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
