soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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