Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
