The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish they made helmets for livers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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