Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
