But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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