My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize