Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
