Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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