I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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