i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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