we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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