i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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