look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if i died would you start the facebook group?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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