Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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