I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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