Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
