Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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