I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
