we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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