Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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