u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
