I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
