Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
