I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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