By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
