I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
