Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
